U me aur Hum and The Notebook

The mind is a mysterious and spacious place. Its where you think, dream, hope, despair, and forget.

The mind is capable of processing a billion thoughts a minute or none at all.

To love and be loved -those are things we aspire to… But to love someone that cannot remember you ever being in their life is the one nightmare I wish upon no one.

The way a loved one repeats the conversation you’ve had twice in the past hour… Those frustating moments when they try to remember an important fact that refuses to connect with their tongues… The many times you repeat your name to the “and you are…?” The picking up of things that are left behind because your loved one doesn’t even realize what is and isn’t…

Your heart extingushes by angonizing spurts the hope each time the mind turns the switch of your loved one’s memories off, and that glassy look that only reflects you- looks at you but does not see you…

You can’t even remember what the doctors say to you about genetics; about generational gaps; about dementia (though your agonized mind says you must be in the grip of it if you can’t remember)… But you do remember its just the stress that’s blanking you out- your reassure yourself… Still…

Alzheimer’s a soft, pervasive and progressive disease that slowly but surely robs you of your memories, your life even as you continue to live in a shell you don’t even know you are in… A disease that is as destructive on them as it is on you…

We watch each other for signs; we have each other tested because one is life; two is mistake and three or more is genetics on a rampage…

So we continue-to keep in touch; to share memories while we can; to retell the stories even if we know them by heart, and repeat how much we love each other while we still can…

We have always been picture takers and now more than ever we collect them because not to means we will forget sooner rather than later…

“U me aur Hum” write it in a notebook and keep it safe for those days…


2 Responses to “U me aur Hum and The Notebook”

  1. 1 nauri
    February 23, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    Well said! Mom and Dad are at different stages of the disease – I’m starting to see so much of Dad’s previous journey in Mom’s current journey.

    • 2 INAL
      February 24, 2009 at 5:15 pm

      Welcome Nauri
      It is comforting to know there are people out there that can relate – thanks for coming by, and do come again often!


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