06
May
09

Train ride humor

The other day I went and splurged on an iPod Touch (someone with sticky fingers got it attached  to their hand and walked away with the iPod my daughters had given me for Mother’s Day; hope it fell in a sewer opening, the perp!)

I love hearing various things during my morning commute other than other people’s conversations, other people’s music, and the train’s annoying “overhead” messages. From Qur’an, to Chants, to Bach, Hindi songs, to Luis Miguel (the Spanish in me melts at his voice crooning old love songs I grew up hearing, what could I say). It also sets a tone for the day for me and it allows me to read in peace! LOL

Yep, totally disconnected from the world! Give a girl a break; delay tactics work when you know some of the meetings on your agenda for the day are about to give you angina or make some already raw nerves just a tad more sensitive! My idea of being mindful; mindful of the landmines ahead!

So on the train ride today, I opened up “More” magazine and I literally chuckled all the way to work (had I been at home I would have laughed myself to tears, but you’re in public- what would people think?)

In New York? As one of our esteemed doctors would say, “Oh, just another bozone layer added to the mix!”

I tried checking the website to see if they had these tidbits to share as a link- but didn’t find them so I am reprinting them here… I got a weird sense of humor- I tell ya!

 

Groan GIRLS

“You know you have reached middle age when all you do is exercise caution.” -Unknown

Last week I survived the wrong exercise class. All around me, sweaty twenty-somethings clapped each other on the back while I made my exit one painful step at a time. Although I’m no slouch when it comes to the physical, the sit-ups in that class were not just military- they were Iraq ready. The mere fact that I did not die on the spot seemed worthy of applause. I did note, however, that when the reggae tape stopped, these young things were groaning with effort too.

Oh, what I could’ve done when I was 20! Not that I tried. I dodged gym in high school, took meditation in college to get out of phys ed and bided my time for decades before storming the gym at the intersection of Gravity and Vanity. For a while, I step-classed, yoga twisted and kept up until last week.

I imagined the girls in this class noting my every half push-up, my wavering plank, my shivering chicken arms and shaking their heads at my incompetence, not giving me any breaks because of course this will never happen to them. My friend Molly says that when you do leg lifts and all the flesh comes down at you, you know it’s time to leave that leg alone. But what do I want to take two at a time: stairs or pills? Besides, there are all these muscles I never knew I had- I know because it takes me a week to forget them. So I read the class descriptions and pick my battles. Middle-aged and cautious? I prefer to see my self as wise.

-Terese Svoboda

 

Recipe-

Midlife Stress-Stuffed Cabbage

Serves

1 couple, until they go completely mad

 

  • 2 sets of aging parents, rapidly deteriorating
  • 1 to 3 wiseass teenagers, or more in blended families, growing up alarmingly fast
  • Escalating auto insurance rates
  • Way too many college applications at any given time
  • Inadequate college savings accounts
  • Enough wisdom to recognize all the mistakes you’ve made over the years
  • Not enough wisdom to correct them
  • Large cabbage leaves, as needed
  • Olives, peppers, debt and despair, for topping

 

1-Combine the first 8 problems (and you can use up any others that are rotting in your pantry). Pulverize into a pounding headache.

2-Stuff the cabbage leaves and, while performing this tedious task, think about doing rebellious things you did when you yourself were a wiseass teenager, like getting some extra piercings or hitching a ride to Guatemala.

 3-Top with olives, peppers, debt, and despair and bake until everything and everyone has a complete meltdown. Serve with a flaming temper.

 

From

Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife (Fireside). Copyright © 2009 by Nava Atlas.

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3 Responses to “Train ride humor”


  1. 1 Chiara
    May 8, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    Luis Miguel, mi amor!!!

    • 2 INAL
      May 9, 2009 at 10:57 am

      By the way there is the link on the side “RSS Shadjar Al Noor” that you can click on the music I have on “Imeem”- and there is alot of Luis Miguel!

  2. 3 INAL
    May 8, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    🙂 Natural born crooner! Yep!


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