Marriage…redefined or clarified?

“According to one Islamic model, the soul has three stages. In the first seven years, it is known as the appetitive soul. The primary concerns of children in this stage are eating, and wanting attention. The second stage is the next seven years, the age of anger, when kids react strongly to stimuli and are annoyed easily. The third is the rational stage, [notice no time limit] when reasoning and discernment reach their full capacity…In the third stage parents should befriend them, form a relationship that is amicable and full of kindness and companionship. After this, their children, now adults are set free.” **

If my math is good I would then have to say that a person is not considered an adult until after they reach their full capacity of discernment and reasoning. Meaning, a 15 or 20 year old is not discerning and reasoning at full capacity.

If marriage, in many societies, is based on notions that the younger the better for “proper molding”- then the parents are relinquishing their responsibilities to someone else who has no emotional, paternal/maternal bond. Nice cop out huh? Especially when its directed at girls only!

The following link is to a video filmed in 2009 speaking of Domestic Violence. What I found very enlightening are the explanations that are given with regards to the whole foundation of marriage. What it signifies and its purpose.

I think this video gives a means to redefine- or should I say re-clarify what marriage in Islam is supposed to be about. You tell me…


**Purification of the Heart, Hamza Yusuf


4 Responses to “Marriage…redefined or clarified?”

  1. May 25, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    I’ll watch the video and return, Inal.

  2. May 27, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    I like the three stages.

    • 4 INAL
      May 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

      So do I- what to me was interesting is that its not used as mainstream child-rearing in some Muslim countries when its so beneficial. At this point in our parenting we’re in the last stage and our kids are treated with the respect appropriate for their ages. And its also what I see in my husband’s immediate family- excepting the eldest. My husband says that one never grew up! LOL

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