Archive for the 'Welcome write up' Category

10
Aug
08

Hello world!

So what do you say on your first blog post that is meaningful and makes an impression? How should I know this is my first time. But I imagine tons of stuff will pour out and in time it will become a place to express myself when I know that it may not quite connect with others, or the contrary.

It might ignite a spark and carry the conversation across oceans, lands, minds or fall flat.

But what ever this endeavor will produce at least it is easier to keep than my journal that is somewhere nearby.

I am cantankerous, confused, outspoken, delusional at times, but at least I am honest enough to admit these things about myself.

Friendship has a high price tag in my realm…its because I was taught that a true friend keeps the secrets of others regardless of the consequences. So, I have few friends…

I am a loner by nature- I love to travel and it is mostly by myself with journal in hand- every country gets its own addition so we don’t get confused. but it also helps because I don’t have to maintain as many conversations while I watch, learn and absorb what is going on around me.

Married with kids; but the kids live mostly their own lives and “come home” when they need advice, guidance, or food! LOL

I am a self admitted workaholic that enjoys work- it is where I come alive, where I do my most creative stuff, where I truly relax and have fun. Weird? My reality. I wanted to be a doctor, my father did not want to pay for it (the second wife needed it for some ridiculous thing), and in the end it was for the best- I still got to be part of the Health care system but as a facilitator not only for the patients, but for the doctors and nurses who took care of these patients- what better place than be an all around health care providing Administrator.

But then that means that I will not step into a hospital in Yemen if my life depended on it. However, I will travel to Dubai to make sure a family member gets the best there is to offer while we are in the Middle East. I constantly tell my extended and far-away family members to be careful what they do…no decision is made until I give the last and definitive ok- I micromanage death if I have to.

My favorite composite fairytale character is from the myth/legend of a Mameluke Queen who is said to have ruled from her tent as though she were her dead husband (that people said not to know was dead) until her son was old enough to rule in his own right. Dangerous endeavor if you ask me; and the intrigue- heart pumping!

But am I anything like this mythical person? Maybe, I am a Moor- A Spanish American Muslim living within a very Roman Catholic family whose original roots were Muslim but had to cover; go underground; deny; whatever they had to to survive- I am not here to judge them nor tell their stories-they are too convoluted to keep track of. Moor married to a Yemeni, interesting…

I won’t talk about wars going on in this world because my son is out there serving his country and those are his stories to tell. But it won’t stop me from every now and then rant against the powers that be of the status of things on this almost not green Planet Earth.

Green, yes that is something that slowly I have taken on because I have my youngest who is an environmentalist, a scientist who seriously doubts religiosity but hates it when I say “You have a religion you know- its called science”. My fault, I was brought up among the three Abrahamic traditions by pure accident; that’s what happened growing up in the 1960’s – sorry to date myself; but whats a number in this digital age. Oh about my fault, sorry almost went on a tangent- three religions inside the mind of one person is hard to keep track of- two of my children decided they were better off not having any of them- I mean look how confused my parent is?! The other, well let’s just say living conditions have a way of “conditioning” responses to a higher calling called the Supreme Being- Allah SWT.

So in keeping with my faith; not necessarily followed by many of my family members on one side; and rigidly adhered to by the other side- I have learned to navigate those sticky moments by keeping the particular parties away from each other as much as possible- familiarity breeds contempt- and to be avoided at all costs. I don’t want my life to be any harder than Allah SWT deems it necessary- so I pick my battles carefully. That includes discussions about faith, the environment, wars, and other contentious subjects that tend to deteriorate into cuff fights; shouting matches; and chest pounding sessions. All around sore endings.

A wimp you might say- no I have had my share of cuts and bruises, I can enter a fray like any good brawler- I just make sure I have antibiotics, pain relievers, and compresses available to soothe the aches after all has been said and done.

Now what ever propelled me after 40 something years to start a blog- well two consecutive surgeries in ten days is what. I decided that these surgeries in many ways were my ticket to express myself as I saw fit because I had been pushed physically beyond my limits and come out on the other side in one piece. It gave me a new place to stand on, in the line of life. I had gone where I thought your body doesn’t go to unless it is ready to explode; and I was told that the term in my case is that my body was crashing-something I thought was just like exploding. I don’t say dying because I have seen too many people in that state everyday and that is not where I was- I was in that place where your body wants to give up being healthy and take in all manner of diseases.

Also I got angry with some of those few friends I have-or should I call them acquaintances- who blithely stated- You’ll live; you’ll be fine- but had never in their entire lives been under the knife under emergency situations. I never tell someone I know how they feel if I have not ever experienced what they are going through- that is a mistake of the mind on the soul. The mind thinks itself cute and smart and insults someones soul. Don’t go there- you will lose more friends that way than you will care to admit.

I rather like the “Te acompano en tu sentimiento” of the Spanish sentiment murmured at times of extreme crisis- usually death but applicable in just about all other crisis if you ask me. It allows you to be with the person in their time of crisis without presuming to know what they feel. I am accompanying you in your sentiments; feelings is what is being conveyed- the conservative “I feel You”.

So here I am, first blog post of the starting line…who knows what it may bring…

But before I let you go a few rules:

Because of my age it is my prerogative to ask

  • that you don’t leave any obscene messages;
  • that if you don’t like what I have to say about how I feel about my religion, my people, my countries, my life you can always leave this old coot to ramble on without an audience so you are not obligated to post;
  • that if you feel you must post do so- it is a place where I want people to have conversations;
  • that you refrain from asking the twenty questions I am tired of being asked- ever met a new Muslim convert; then you know the questions they get bombarded with even when “new” and “convert” are no longer relevant;
  • that you come in peace and go in peace…no carbon foot prints please…those that leave a trail when stuff has been burnt…

Later…

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