By INAL

 

There is a different time-scale

 

Nasrudin went to a Turkish bath. As he was poorly dressed the attendants treated him in a casual manner, gave him only a scrap of soap and an old towel.

When he left, Nasrudin gave the two men a gold coin each. He had not complained, and they could not understand it. Could it be, they wondered, that if he had been better treated he would have given an even larger tip?

The following week the Mulla appeared again. This time, of course, he was looked after like a king. After being massaged, perfumed and treated with the utmost deference, he left the bath, handing each attendant the smallest possible copper coin.

“This,” said Nasrudin “is for the last time. The gold coins were for this time.”

  

Man bites dog – that’s news

 Nasrudin had been out of town on one of his long hikes. As he entered the village, he saw the people hurrying, on and all towards the market place.

He asked a passer-by what was going on.

 

“Don’t you know? A man has been on the pilgrimage to Mecca. This year a hundred thousand people there- and he is giving a lecture about it.”

“From the excitement,” said Nasrudin, “I had almost concluded that the pilgrimage had come to him- not the other way about.”

  

Just as well I came along

 

Nasrudin was walking past a well, when he had the impulse to look into it. It was night, and as he peered into the deep water, he saw the Moon’s reflection there.

“I must save the Moon!” the Mulla thought. “Otherwise she will never wane, and the fasting month of Ramadan will never come to an end,”

He found a rope, threw it in, and called down: “Hold tight; keep bright; succor is at hand!”

The rope caught in a rock inside the well, and Nasrudin heaved as had as he could. Straining back, he suddenly felt the rope give as it came loose, and he was thrown on his back. As he lay there, panting, he saw the moon riding in the sky above.

“Glad to be of service,” said Nasrudin. “Just as well I came along, wasn’t it?”

 

Strange that you should ask

 

Nasrudin climbed into someone’s kitchen garden and started filling a sack with everything that he could lay his hands on.

A gardener saw him and came running. “What are you doing here”?

“I was blown her by a high wind.”

“And who uprooted the vegetables”

“I caught hold of them to stop myself [from] being swept along.”

“And how does it come that there are vegetables in that sack?”

“That is just what I was wondering about when you interrupted me”.

 

 Avoid entanglement

 

The Ship seemed about to sink, and his fellow-passengers who had laughed at the Mulla’s warnings that they should prepare their souls for the next world fell on their knees and cried out for help. In their lamentations they were promising what they would do if they were saved…

“Steady, friends!” shouted the Mulla. “Such prodigality with your worldly goods!

Avoid entanglements, as you have in your lives so far. Trust me! I think I see land.”

 

How foolish can a man be?

 

The Mulla was found pouring wheat from jars of his neighbors into his own, at the communal wheat-store.

He was taken before a judge.

“I am a fool, I don’t know their wheat from mine,” he stated.

“Then why did you not pour any wheat from your own jars into theirs?” demanded the judge.

“Ah, but I know my wheat from theirs- I am no such a fool as that!”

 

 

Cause and effect

 

One evening Nasrudin quarreled with his wife and shouted at her so fiercely that she fled for refuge to a neighboring house, where he followed her.

As it happened, a wedding was in progress, and the host and guests did all they could to calm him down, and vied with one another to make the couple reconciled, to eat and enjoy themselves.

The Mulla said to his wife: “My dear, remind me to lose my temper more often- then life would really be worth living!”

 

 

That’s why they bunged it up

 

Nasrudin was very thirsty and was happy when he saw by the roadside a water pipe whose outlet was bunged with a piece of wood. Putting his open mouth near the stopper, he pulled.

There was such a rush of water that he was knocked over.

“OHO”! Roared the Mulla. “That’s why the blocked you up, is it? And you have not yet learned any sense!”

 

 

The burden of guilt

 

Mulla Nasrudin and his wife came home one day to find the house burgled. Everything portable had been taken away.

“It’s all your fault,” said his wife, “for you should have made sure that the house was locked before we left.”

The neighbors took up the chant:

“You did not lock the windows,” said one.

“Why did you not expect this?” said another.

“The locks were faulty and you did not replace them,”said a third.

“Just a moment,” said Nasrudin, “-Surely I am not the only one to blame?”

“And who should we blame?” they shouted.

“What about the thieves?” said the Mulla.

 

 

Descriptions of the goods

 

Nasrudin lost a beautiful and costly turban.

Are you not despondent, Mulla, someone asked him.

No, I am confident. You see, I have offered a reward half a silver piece.

But the finder will surely never part with the turban, worth hundred times as much, for such a reward.

I have already thought of that. I have announced that this is was a dirty old turban, quite different from the real one.

 

 

More useful

 

Nasrudin entered the teahouse and declaimed:

The moon is more useful than the sun.

Why Mulla?

We need the light more during the night than during the day.

 

 

Which is my half?

 

Nasrudin and a friend were thirsty, and stopped at a café for a drink. They decided to share a glass of milk.

You drink your half first, said the friend, because I have some sugar here, just enough for one. I shall add this to my share of the milk and drink it.

Add it now, said the Mulla, and I will drink only half.

Certainly not. There is enough sugar to sweeten half a glass of milk.

Nasrudin went to the owner of the café, and came back with a large packet of salt.

Good news, friend, he said, I am drinking first, as agreed, and I want my milk with salt.


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