Saga of Nasrudin continues III

A Great Thought

One day Nasrudin asked his wife to cool halwa, a rich sweetmeat, and gave her all the ingredients. She made a large quantity, and the Mulla ate nearly all of it.

That night when they were in bed, he woke her up.

“I have just had a remarkable thought.”

“What is it?”

“Bring me the rest of the halwa, and I will tell you.”

She got up and brought him the halwa, which he ate. “Now,” she said, “I shall not be able to sleep until you tell me the thought.”

“The though,” said Nasrudin, “was this: ‘Never go without finishing all the halwa which has been made during the day.’”

 

The Exploit

 In the teahouse, some soldiers were boasting about their recent campaigns. The local inhabitants crowded eagerly around them to listen.

“And,” one fearsome-looking warrior was saying, “I took my double edged sword and charged the enemy, scattering them to the right and left like chaff. We carried the day.”

There was a gasp of applause.

“That reminds me,” said Nasrudin, who had seen a few battles in his time, “of the time I cut off the leg of an enemy on the battlefield. Severed it right through.”

“You would have done better, sir,” replied the captain of the soldiers, “to have cut off his head.”

“That would have been impossible,” said the Mulla, “Your see, someone else had already done that.”

 

The Hunt

 

The King, who enjoyed Nasrudin’s company, sent for him one day to go hunting bears. Bears are dangerous. Nasrudin was terrified at the prospect, but could not get out of it.

When he arrived back at the village, someone asked him:

 “How did the hunt go?”

“Marvelously.”

“How many bears did you kill?”

“None.”

“How many did you chase?”

“None.”

“How many did you see?”

“None.”

“How could it go “marvelously,” then?”

“When you are hunting bears, “none” is more than enough.”

 

Both, Your Majesty!

Nasrudin was not sure about Court etiquette, and yet he was among the notables who would have to be received by the Sultan when he visited the locality.

An equerry quickly briefed him. The King would ask him how long he had been living there, how long he had studied to become a Mulla, and whether he was happy about the taxation and spiritual welfare of the people.

He memorized his answers: but they started in another order.

“How long have you studied?”

“Thirty Five years.”

“How old are you, then?”

“Twelve years.”

This is impossible! Which of us is mad?”

“Both, your Majesty!”

“You call me mad, like you?”

“Of course we are mad, but in a different way, your Majesty!”

 

Forgotten himself

 Nasrudin called at a castle to collect for charity.

Tell your master, he said to the doorkeeper, that Mulla Nasrudin is here and asks for money.

The man sent into the building, then came out again.

I am afraid that my master is out, he said.

Le me give you a message for him the, said Nasrudin. Even though he has not contributed, he can have this advice, free. Next time he goes out, he should not leave his face at the window. Someone might steal it.

 

Not so difficult

The Mulla’s neighbor wanted to borrow his clothesline.

Sorry, said Nasrudin, I am using it. Drying flour.

How on earth can you dry flour on a clothesline?

It is less difficult than you think when you do not want to lend it.

 

Obligation

 The Mulla nearly fell into a pool. A man whom he knew slightly was near and saved him. Every time he met Nasrudin after that, he would remind him of the service which he had performed.

When this had happened, several times Nasrudin took him to the water, jumped in, and stood with his head just above water and shouted: “Now I am as wet as I would have been if you had not saved me! Leave me alone.”

 

Fixed Ideas

How old are you, Mulla?”

Forty

But you said the same last time I asked you, Two years ago!

Yes, I always stand by what I have said.