By INAL

Just Suppose…

The Mulla was walking down the village street deep in thought, when some urchins began to throw stones at him. He was taken by surprise, and besides he was not a big man.

“Don’t do that, and I will tell you something of interest to you.”

“All right, what is it? But no philosophy.”

“The Emir is giving a free banquet to all comers.”

The children ran off towards the Emir’s house as Nasrudin warmed to his theme, the delicacies, and the delights of the entertainment…

He looked up and saw them disappearing in the distance. Suddenly he tucked up his robes and started to sprint after them. “I’d better go and see,” he panted to himself, “because it might be true after all.”

 

Alternate crop…

The Mulla went to the barber who shaved him with a blunt razor and a clumsy hand. Every time he drew blood, the barber struck a wisp of cotton on the nick, to stop the bleeding. This continued for some time, until one side of Nasrudin’s face was thickly dotted with cotton wool.

As the barber was about to shave the other cheek, the Mulla suddenly caught sight of himself in the mirror and jumped up.

“That’s enough, thank you, brother! I have decided to grow cotton on one side and barley on the other!”

 

Tit for Tat

Nasrudin went into a shop to buy a pair of trousers. Then he changed his mind and chose a cloak instead, at the same price.

Picking up the cloak, he left the shop.

“You have not paid,” shouted the merchant.

“I Left you the trousers, which were of the same value as the cloak.”

“But you did not pay for the trousers either.”

“Of course not,” said the Mulla-“why should I pay for something that I did not want to buy?”

 

Whose servant am I?

 

Mulla Nasrudin had become a favorite at Court. He used his position to show up the methods of courtiers.

One day the King was exceptionally hungry. Some aubergines had been so deliciously cooked that he told the palace chef to serve them every day.

“Are they not the best vegetables in the world, Mulla?” he asked Nasrudin.

“The very best, Majesty”

Five days later, when the aubergines had been served for the tenth meal in succession, the King roared: “Take these things away! I HATE them!”

“They are the worst vegetables in the world, Majesty, “agreed Nasrudin.

“But Mulla, less than a week ago you said that they were the very best.”

“I did. But I am the servant of the King, not of the vegetable.”

 

Inscrutable Fate

Nasrudin was walking along an alleyway when a man fell from a roof and landed on his neck. The man was unhurt; the Mulla was taken to hospital.

Some disciples went to visit him. “What wisdom do you see in this happening, Mulla?”

“Avoid any belief in the inevitability of cause and effect! He falls off the roof-but my neck is broken! Shun reliance upon theoretical questions such as: “If a man falls off a roof, will his neck be broken?””

 

The Answer

There is nothing without an answer,” said a monk as he entered the teahouse where Nasrudin and his friends sat. “Yet I have been challenged by a scholar with an unanswerable question,” observed the Mulla.

“Would that I had been there! Tell it to me and I shall answer it”

“Very well. He Said, ‘Why are you stealing into my house through a window by night?’”

 

Idiots

Carrying home a load of delicate glassware, Mulla Nasrudin dropped it in the street. Everything smashed.

A crowd gathered.

“What’s the matter with you, idiots?” howled the Mulla.

“Haven’t you ever seen a feel before?”

 

If Allah wills it

Nasrudin had saved up to buy a new shirt. He went to a tailor’s hop, full of excitement. The tailor measured him and said, “Come back in a week, and If Allah wills- your shirt will be ready.”

The Mulla contained himself for a week and then went back to the shop.

“There has been a delay. But – if Allah wills- your shirt will be ready tomorrow.”

The following day Nasrudin returned. “I am sorry,” said the tailor, “but it is not quite finished. Try tomorrow, and – if Allah wills- it will be ready.”

“How long will it take,” asked the exasperated Nasrudin, “If you leave Allah out of it?”

 

 


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